Friday, April 10, 2009

Devils work.

I love you. No- I love you! This HAS to be love- I think about you ALL THE TIME! I love you! Please never leave me- you complete me. No- wait- don't leave me... WHY DO YOU TREAT ME THIS WAY?!?!?

It used to comfort me so, nicotine. But in the last few months it never seemed enough. More than that my legs would ache when i walk and my job at SLSC requires much walking. Last Summer i had a new bike and it was a pleasure to ride- i want to be able to ride it again without my legs hurting from lack of oxygen. I quit smoking on Sunday, April 5th at 18:16 when I ran out. I was driving home from work and decided I would not buy anymore. As i smoked the last one it occurred how painful smoking is. Inhaling deeply those last hits- I coughed and hacked and wheezed until i was able to breathe normally again... turned off into a Walgreens and bought a box of mint flavored 4 mg nicotine lozenges. When it gets bad I have one. It's still hard at times- but it's so much better than the prospect of playing my saxophone with an oxygen tank beside me. Come to think of it- i saw 3 separate visitors to the Science Center with oxygen tanks. Maybe that inspired me to finally be done with that shit.

Goodbye to my overflowing ashtrays. No more smoking in my house or in my car. When the weather gets a little warmer I look forward to opening all the windows for a final "airing out".

One last thought- I spent $8 a day at the end there... okay- let's round it up to $10... that's $300/month (a car payment) or $3600/year! Think of all the treats i can buy myself!