Monday, December 1, 2008


I was at a Supertramp concert at The Saint Louis Arena. The "Breakfast In America" tour. Big Supertramp fan. Knew all the lyrics, who wrote what, loved what they'd done and- as this was the sixth album- saw that they had done all they would as a band and was mourning their demise at the top of their game. Usually it's three albums but for the sake of this piece I'll include"Supertramp" and "Indelibly Stamped" (the first two albums i have never heard). "Breakfast" was the fourth commercial success and had at least three radio hits. Anyway...

Roger Hodgson had composed the song "Babaji" on the prior album about the latest incarnation of the eternal manifestation of God in human form. Spiritual longing, questioning of "place" in life and giving ones self purpose, this song was always a favorite of mine. So they're playing this song and I'm all into it and like crying at the beauty and shit and there's this this guy next to me singing it word for word perfect- almost. I looked over at this guy and he was like all into it and crying at the beauty and shit and our eyes met and we acknowledged each other and then he sings "Barbara Jean"... WHAM! Totally crushed my groove. "It's Babaji!" "What?" "Babaji- it's about the most recent manifestation of Krishna- it's a spiritual song." "I thought it was a love song!" I waved him off as an idiot, absolutely ruining his evening, I'm sure.

Dude- you were right- it IS a love song. It's also a blues song, and a reggae song (if you adhere to Bob Marley's definition that any song about Jah is reggae) and, where ever you are- I want to apologize. My burden from this event has been that every time I hear this great song I'm reminded of your face when I so carelessly fucked over your reality. Who am I to "correct" you for your interpretation of a piece of art? I've grown a little since that night and do try on occasion not to be an asshole.


SUPERTRAMP - Live - Babaji - Queen Mary College 1977

Monday, August 11, 2008

Snippets of my writings...

The following are small pieces or parts of pieces i had written long ago.

Sell me some stock
and I'll give you a dime
but it's not worth the trouble
not worth the time,
and Love will soon prove
that the lemon's a lime...
Get Moving! Get Moving!
and the old man gets sent to a home.
-from the basement bathroom wall of Duff' restaraunt- 1975

"The Pontoon Flats ribaldo snorfer rides again!"

"The mind dog laps up information like a tongue sponge- Arf! Arf! "

"I'm a very weak person- i can only carry a grudge."


more to come as i remember them.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Aegian Sea by Aphrodites Child


I saw the souls
I saw the martyrs
I heard them crying
I heard them shouting
They were dressed in white
they've been told to wait

The sun was black
the moon was red
the stars were falling
the earth has trembling
And then a crowd impossible to number
Dressed in white
carrying palms
shouted amid
the hotless sun
the lightless moon
the windless earth
the colourless sky ...

They'll no more suffer from hunger
they'll no more suffer from thirst

They'll no more suffer from hunger
they'll no more suffer from thirst

They'll no more suffer from hunger
they'll no more suffer from thirst


Thursday, April 24, 2008

Sea and Sand

i go back to places where i was happy. places of past loves and joy but once there in situ and without the people that made it whatever it is i thought it was at the time, the place seems a shell. an empty one.

i was deeply in love with a gal named Alison. we met thru mutuals when she came to visit from New York. ended up on a couple of annual trips with them to the northeastern seaboard and NYC and seeing Alison was a big part of it for me. one of those trips included a group going to Martha's Vineyard for a weekend after the tourist season. had a wonderful time. nothing happened between us, ever.

but in my mind i held this infatuation for some time after and went up East by myself the following year. after an awkward visit with Alison and our friends i went to the Vineyard by myself. with nowhere to stay i slept on the beach. however nostalgic or romantic, it just wasn't the same.

Sea and Sand by Peter Townsend

Here by the sea and sand
Nothing ever goes as planned,
I just couldn't face going home
It was just a drag on my own.
They finally threw me out
My mother got drunk on stout,
My dad couldn't stand on two feet,
As he lectured about morality.
Now I guess the families complete,
With me hanging round on the street
Or here on the beach.

The girl I love
Is a perfect dresser,
Wears every fashion
Gets it to the tee.
Heavens above,
I got to match her
She knows just how
She wants her man to be
Leave it to me.

My jacket's gonna be cut slim and checked
Maybe a touch of seersucker with an open neck
I ride a G S scooter with my hair cut neat
I wear my wartime coat in the wind and sleet.

I see her dancing
Across the ballroom
U V light making starshine
Of her smile.
I am the face,
She has to know me,
I'm dressed up better than anyone
Within a mile.

So how come the other tickets look much better?
Without a penny to spend they dress to the letter.
How come the girls come on oh so cool
Yet when you meet 'em, every one's a fool.

Come sleep on the beach
Keep within my reach
I just want to die with you near
I'm feeling so high with you here.
I'm wet and I'm cold
But thank God I ain't old
Why didn't I say what I mean?
I should have split home at fifteen
There's a story that the grass is so green,
What did I see?
Where have I been?

Nothing is planned, by the sea and the sand

anyone that is familiar with the '73 album Quadrophenia by The Who knows the story. a kid, too wrapped up in his past, facing the challenges of maturity. as a child of the late '60's/early '70's, letting go of the past is pretty challenging. why couldn't we be young forever?

it seems that with the exception of the Mod/Rocker riots in Brighton, and the Mod movement, the story line was pretty close to mine. lyrically and musically it was spot-on. a mixed up kid moving on from everything that made his youth exciting- a coming of age story that fit me like a second skin. Then in 1979 the movie was released and there was my youth splashed up on the screen. more accurately- blend Quadrophenia with Cameron Crowe's Almost Famous and that pretty well sums it up.

Almost Famous? that's a whole 'nuther post to be covered later.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

there's a hole in the bottom of the sea.

i am not particularly strong, but i wake up everyday to work and play.

though not what i consider handsome, i can look at myself in the mirror each morning and not vomit, most times. maybe i'm just too close.

at times i am at peace with the world. don't know what brings it on but the hole in the pit of mt stomach is replaced with contentment and a knowing that everything will be alright. with nothing changing externally hope arrives with no apparent reason. here i go quoting Robert Fripp again but how apt an aphorism-

"In desperate times, a reasonable person might despair; but hope is unreasonable, and love is greater even than this."

this would explain much in my life.

horrible people run the country yet i have so much hope for it and us. in my last post i wrote of the concept of a soul mate for me, not yet but here's hoping. though not by one singular person, i do feel loved. there are hard times ahead. there will always be difficulties. i deal with them with the hope that things will be better. unreasonable? yes. do what's right and good comes.

that's all i have for now.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Weeping at beauty

There's cause to weep
at beauty
when something so perfectly
reflects the presence of God
like strong eyes
or silence
or knowing a glimpse of Truth

As there's cause to laughter
and cause for pain
each as valid as
weeping at beauty
but alas- tears of joy
evaporate before
hitting the floor.

Friday, February 15, 2008

More love.

Been working on my myspace page and the "middle bit" of Lauren Garbo began to play. My mind wandered back to the days when i wrote the song- days of innocence and exploration. The lyric is about waiting for my soul mate. I was convinced that everyone has a single "love of my life". Though at the time my freedom of spirit led me to going quickly from one girlfriend to another and occasionally beginning one before finishing with another. Guess i was a womaniser. Most likely just just young and stupid and selfish. Haven't found my soul mate yet. Perhaps i have, and tossed her aside for a prettier face. Looking back, there are at least 5 that fall into that category. Not to brag here but we're talking dozens of relationships from one night stands to those that lasted years. Why am i spilling all this now at the tender age of 50?

I don't know if i still feel that way about finding a soul mate. I want to believe it. For a long time i went in quite the opposite direction- that even if there is "one" person out there, it is of no consiquence. Should we meet up in this life, all the better but if not- it wasn't meant to be. But even that is living under the supposition that that person does indeed exist. As i write this i'm waffeling on that question- and believing most likely not.

Not long ago i thought i had indeed met her. I met "her" before. She had a different name then. Her first name was Mare, then Karen, then Alison, then Charlotte, then Pam, then on anon...

Since getting sober in 1988 my relationships have gotten fewer but more long-lasting. In the long stretches between I have become quite comfortable on my own. If i can't be with myself how can i expect someone to want to be with me? Besides- i have more time for music and work and more work and- waitaminute- if i have so much time for all that work why can't the time be shared with someone else? This is the crux- that someone has to want to... i can't make someone want to be with me.

Maybe one day someone will. Maybe not. La di da.

"... i know for sure you're out there
can't you feel my spirit bleed?
just to know that you exist is all i need."
lyrics for Laren Garbo by Dominic Schaeffer 1978

This pondering comes to you as a result of Hope. Robert Fripp has stated "there are times when reasonable people might despair. But hope is unreasonable, and love is greater than this..."